deep breath.

Yesterday I was minding my own business at work when a dad came in with his baby (LATE!) and as we were talking and cooing and generally reassuring her that she should play with a toy instead of melt into a ball of despair, I heard my phone vibrate. Multiple times.

This usually indicates a phone call of some sort.

Now normally I would be like, ‘Charity organization!’ because I have been getting multiple calls of that nature lately, and in fact I was suspecting it was that. But I also thought, ‘Well, maybe it’s my old company calling me about taxes. That would be fantastical.’ So I set up the babies with some food, let my co worker do her thing, and then went over to my phone and opened it.

VOICE MAIL. Eee! Tax news! So I listened the voice mail. I heard a male voice. Eee! Tax news!

“… and she’s unconscious, and in emergency surgery, and they don’t know if she’s going to make it. I’m leaving work now, going home to get the car, and driving straight to the hospital.”

And … life gets put upside down. As mentioned Husband’s grandmother is in the hospital, and that’s who Husband was talking about. I started shaking, a little crying, called my Assistant Director, who was like, ‘I am moving around some babies and then you go. NOW.” So I called Husband and was like, “Wait for me! WAIT for me!” and while my mind was going, ‘If she dies they can’t handle it if she dies he can’t handle it if she dies they can’t handle it if she dies he can’t handle it’, my body was shaking, trying not to cry, and, oh yeah, filling out daily sheets and changing diapers and putting together a box so babies could move up to Toddlers LIKE NOTHING WAS WRONG.

At one point my coworker was like, “Where are you going? What’s happening?” and I told her, letting a few tears escape, and she was like, “I’ll start praying right now,” (<3 my Catholic coworker to death). After I said that to her, still having tears on my face, I picked up this 15 month old, 'cause I had to change her so she could go to Todds, and when I picked her up and she put her arms around my neck and squeezed, burying her face in my neck, as if to say, 'It's okay. I got you.' I've known this baby for awhile now and she is very loving and always gives hugs to anyone who is crying.

Well I almost started crying all over again. It is, to say the least, very hard on me to be even this hour distance from my family. I feel like I miss out on a lot, especially with my niece, and certain other things that are another blog post, but that hug reminded me that I have my own support system here. I also got a hug from aforementioned coworker and my Assistant Director before I left.

Fast forward after an afternoon in the hospital, and … she made it. She's not out of the woods yet, but the main point was, she was bleeding out and they didn't know if they were going to be able to save her. But God is good, and He designed well, because (without getting too much into the medical jargon of what was happening to her) her colon had moved over to block out the bleed from the stomach … her body was saving her. So because of that the surgery took less time than they expected and went WELL. Now they are just monitoring her over the weekend to make sure everything stays good and there's no infection.

So here we are today. They're FINALLY letting her breathe on her own and from the phone call MIL made to the hospital last night she is doing good. Husband is on a bike ride to Wisconsin today and I am leaving to join him at about 1:30 – 2:00, but first I need to eat, pull myself together, pack for the weekend and run some errands. It'll be good to relax today and tomorrow after yesterday's panic.


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