Two posts in a day … because I said so.
I have really perfected the art of distracting myself. Of filling my time with books and Netflix and Husband snuggling, with writing out checks and prepping for work and shopping at new grocery stores.
But the tide eventually comes in.
Tonight, we were laying in bed watching Grey’s Anatomy and for a minute the world fell out of focus and I thought, Husband is losing his job and he has no replacement job. The tears sprang to my eyes so fast I couldn’t think of them, and then I shook my head a little and focused on the subtitles.
I read in an article that we all think we are dealing with the hardest hard, and we judge others by saying we are going through something harder. The author of the article said, ‘That is OK, because for you, it is the hardest.’ And you know what? That is okay. I can feel that what we are experiencing is harder than what anyone else is experiencing because … for us, in this place and time, this is HARD. Devastating, and worrisome, and stressful.
My coteacher was snappy a few days ago, and in the middle of the day she just sighed and said, ‘I’m sorry. Today was his first day without his job, and I can’t sleep at night because of the worry.’ And I looked at her and gestured to myself and said, ‘Bring it on. I totally get it. Do what you have to do.’ Right now our hardest hard overlaps, and I said it before and will say it again, I am immensely grateful that I have someone who is going through this struggle with me.