the next step.

My sister just got engaged, and it’s totally exciting. We spent a good two hours last night chatting up wedding colors, reception locations, flower ideas, and the like. However, things are hitting a stalemate fast. Her fiance and his family have their own feelings, and several conflict with my sister’s ideas, as well as the budget for the wedding (which is only a few thousand above mine). Plus my mom is always our unofficial wedding coordinator, and she tends to get very nervous about costs at the beginning, and axes a lot of ideas in the bud without seriously considering them.

It all got me thinking about when I was engaged, and getting ready to take the next step with Husband.

Remember that? I had to take a day off of work, folks, because I showed up crying and had a nervous breakdown in my director’s office. My mom was shutting down every idea I came up with and was freaking me out. It wasn’t even that I wanted anything extravagent (Husband and I didn’t even have a full reception, just a dinner), it was just that my mom was so concerned about staying within the narrow budget I created so we would only end up spending $10,000 on the wedding and honeymoon (I know, we were geniuses).


So I’m trying to be positive about everything. I’m telling my mom and other sister to accept any idea my engaged sister comes up with, to indulge for a couple weeks and price her into reality later. I really believe that’s so important at the beginning of the wedding. Make lists of all the venues you want to see, use websites to create color schemes, Pin a million crazy, crafty ideas you don’t have time for.

Then sit down with your realistic budget, and figure it out. Husband and I found a beautiful venue within our budget, my cousin did the flowers (artificial), my aunt lent us lanterns for the centerpieces, we made our own invitations, and so on. Everything was beautiful and homey and perfect for us. It was also within our budget. Husband and I talked out what he wanted in on and what he didn’t. My mom and I priced every option before we made final decisions.

It’s against a million girls’ views, but I (and Husband) saw the wedding just for what it was: ONE DAY. We knew that once it was over, everyone would forget — what the flowers looked like, the cut of the bridesmaids’ dresses, any toasts made, and even the fact that we didn’t have dancing. The only thing they would remain was our unity, our marriage, and that’s what Husband and I focused on.

I’m so excited for my sister, and her bravery in taking this next step. Marriage is a wonderful, amazing adventure, and I hope to help her focus on crossing her current relationship into an amazing marriage.


2 thoughts on “the next step.

  1. Brainstorming what you want is part of the fun. And then reign it in by thinking about which parts are really most important to you. For me, photography was a big deal, so I spent more on that. Videography wasn’t, so we wouldn’t even have gotten a video if not for a friend making one. I spent almost as much on dress alterations as I did on the dress itself, because having a designer dress wasn’t important to me.

    I’m with you- it’s exciting and parts of it are really fun, but it’s one day. Our budget was just about the same as yours, and although we ended up going over slightly, it wasn’t crazy. The important thing is not to let ‘tradition’ dictate your wedding. Yes, “etiquette” says to serve alcohol- but it wasn’t worth the cost to us. We’d rather put that money towards something we enjoy more.

    It’s the little things that make the wedding personal that end up being your favorite memories anyway, and I hope your sister realizes that! 🙂 Congrats.

    • Your comment is spot on, and I love it. I definitely think wedding planning is about picking and choosing what will mean the most to you when you look back on it later. 🙂

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