down in the 30’s – mfp

My weight keeps fledging daily back and forth between 136 and 135, so I finally split the diff the other day and marked 135.8 on My Fitness Pal, and damn did that feel good to see.

I am still having trouble realizing that my weight is in the 130’s, by the way. I do double takes often on the scale.

Sunday and Monday were spent by my parents. I will say it now that outside comments on my weight are nice, but I’m not trying to hook onto them, because for me this process has to come from within. Also, once people comment on your weight loss once, that’s usually it.

But anyway.

You know who is great? Husband.

Because while my sister and I went shopping for a bridal shower gift for her friend, my parents were home and Husband apparently explained how hard I have been working on my walking and calorie counting, and how much weight I’d lost so far.

To which my mother answered, ‘Well, she used to come over here and eat TWO HAMBURGERS, which I thought was crazy, so this is good.’

I have no regrets — they were delicious, and I was at a point where I was eating to prove I didn’t care about my weight.

Then my parents had this conversation with my sister’s fiance, who upon seeing me on Monday remarked about how good I looked and congratulated me on doing so well.

This thing is tough, you know? And the rewards lately are anywhere from 10 to 14 days in revealing themselves. But I also see a change in my eating habits.

Monday for lunch we went to McDonald’s, and I got a grilled chicken sandwich, and and and and — that’s it. And it was delicious and I had some water with it and I was full and okay. And then for dinner, which I was so worried about because POTATO SALAD — I had a hot dog (no bun), a handful of chips and dip, and one serving spoon of potato salad. And I was full. And I was surprised that I did not want to get seconds, and I only had a cupcake because my mom, for all her healthy talk, was a little hurt that I was thinking of not having one on MEMORIAL DAY. EAT ONE FOR THE SOLDIERS, I think was the gist.

But I sat there and listened to the conversation and stared at my empty plate and thought, ‘It’s becoming more. It’s in my mind now. And although this may not be an every day occurrence, the fact that I ‘survived’ this holiday is good enough for me.’

And by ‘survived’, I want to emphasis that I was truly not starving and did not feel deprived. I am just using a colorful verb.

But today my lunch was ‘eat my feelings’ themed and I ate about a cup and a half of potato salad. YUM! No regrets, and it worked out fine with my calories, it was just an example of how every day is not that easy, just different.


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