stepping off the scale (mfp)

I’ve done a lot of rearranging lately with this weight loss journey.

For one, I’ve scaled back on My Fitness Pal. I started a couple weeks ago and it’s going … okay. I’m trying to take what I learned about portion control and how many calories things are, and go forth on my own. I intended it to be a trial run while we went to Nashville, since I knew we’d be eating out a lot and counting calories would be difficult. But then I did pretty good in Nashville — I tried to eat a lot of salads and sandwiches, and eat only when I felt hungry. It was good, but we also drank, so I knew that wasn’t so good either.

Now I only check in with it when I need a reminder of how many calories I’ve eaten so far or how many calories an item is. I’ve done good enough so far, I’m staying in the 130’s, but there have been a couple days where I’ve overeaten. I know already while I’m doing it that it’s bad, and I feel physically sick afterwards because I overate and it upset my stomach. I’m doing it for two reasons. One, because I’m for whatever reason feeling bored in the evenings, and two, because I’m really hungry when I get home and start snacking before dinner. I resolved that I’m going to start planning my time after work and dinner better so I stop the snacking.

The two weeks before Nashville I spent a few days each week heading out after work and doing a sort of walk/jog exercise. But … last week I got lazy catching up on homework and laundry, and then yesterday/today I got out of work late and it was raining by the time I got home. I enjoyed the exercise, though, and it got me energized for better eating, so I want to start it up again.

Finally, I’ve been diligently working to stop weighing myself. I think this whole weight loss journey has been great, but I think it’s also completely messed with my mental health. I was rummaging through clean(er) clothes after Nashville, threw a shirt on, and left. A couple hours later I looked down and realized the shirt I was wearing so well was a shirt I hadn’t been able to wear in a couple years because my chest/stomach left it too short. I am skinnier, I am healthier. And I was feeling so good that I stepped on the scale the next morning and my good feeling plummeted. I am still fat. So I’m … leaving the scale alone until I can help myself understand that mid 130’s is FINE. GOOD. GREAT, EVEN.


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