we already got one, thanks

I’ve been getting so much flak lately about when we’re gonna have kids, and it drives me nuts. I’m okay right now and forever, thanks. You know want to why? Well, maybe because I’M ALREADY RAISING A KID.


Anything you get with a kid, minus the first year (which I do at work plenty, thanks), I’ve experienced with Stepson. And right now we’re in the midst of “teach this kid everything because nobody at home is”.

As I type this, he’s filling out three Math sheets from a curriculum book Husband’s stepmom gave us. He’s horrendous with Math and half the time either gives up or just guesses. At first I was crazy about stories and manipulatives to make it easier for him to grasp.

Then with the past couple of visits, I realized that what he really wanted was for us to sit down and “work with him” — aka do half the thinking and basically do it for him. Here’s how he wants it go.

“What is 4 + 4?”

“I don’t know.”

“Look at the number line. Where’s the four?”


“Keep your finger there, now count four down to the answer.”

“One … two … three … four … it’s eight.”

I’m okay doing a couple with him like that to get him going, but I feel like since he does number line in school as well, he should be able to take it from there and apply the concept. He doesn’t want to, though. He wants us to sit there and walk him through to the answer. When we ask him to sit and figure it out himself, he sits there and talks aloud about the wrong answers, side glancing us, baiting us (mostly Husband, who always wants to jump in with the answer) to come and help him.

I know he’s got a brain, and knows how to use it. He’s good with words — a few weeks ago his homework was to come up with words that start with a particular letter, and he did it all without any help from me. It was great the words he was coming up with … year for y, violet for v, etc. But he just struggles over his Math.

I am hard on him.

Last weekend we took him to Husband’s dad and then Husband’s mom. At my FIL’s we were messing around with some lacrosse equipment and they were just like, ‘Oh, he has such a great arm. He’ll be a fantastic lacrosse player.’ Then at my MIL’s he was playing with the T-ball set he got for Christmas, broke it because he was messing around and whacking it with the bat, and they were like, ‘Wow, such strength. He really knows how to connect with the ball. He’s going to be amazing when he’s in baseball this summer.’

I can’t even. Like, that shit doesn’t even matter to me and honestly, who can tell that stuff about a six year old? HE BROKE IT. He’s so aggressive because at home they just let him run wild and destructive because it’s easier than discipling him. And because he’s six, he can understand what they’re saying, so he’s all like, ‘Yeah, I’m great at it. I’m great at this.’

The generation of privileged, special beings, ladies and gentlemen.

This is just the skill related portion. He still needs reminders to throw trash away, clear his plate, wash his hands, flush the toilet, etc. So many people are like,”He’s a boy! He’s a kid!” Um, he’ll be seven before you can blink. First grade in the fall. Please tell me what first grader is seen as ‘cute’ when they can’t wipe their butt or leave a mess on the floor?

This morning he peed the bed and walked around in urine soaked pajamas for half the morning before we realized what happened. There were subtle clues that I was just not connecting, btw. Anyway, he could not have cared less. Oh, we had to wash the sheets and scrub the mattress? What, he needed a bath because he smelled like piss? Who cares. Wait a minute while I shit my pants for no reason. We were both so angry and frustrated. He doesn’t get computer/Netflix for the rest of the weekend, and he had a ten minute time out.

In conclusion, I’m good. I’m raising a kid. I’m teaching him subtraction, taking him to the park, buying him gifts from the Easter Bunny. I’m getting all the fundamental business you need to experience as a human being, apparently. I have no desire in me to do this all over again, boy or girl. I got it. I got the concept. I already worry enough with this one, thank you very much.


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